My HED

Throughout the entire day I’ve been brainstorming for my horror story assignment. All throughout the MRT and bus trips, and even discussing with my ex-classmate thinking about every form of conceivable evil and horror in the world. I’m thinking if I brainstorm enough, I can cram all that malice into my short story and hopefully screw over my reader’s sleep for the night.

Drawback’s that I’m becoming rather affected myself. I need to take a break and continue this post tmr.

2dae

Sir rushed all his comments across one midnight for multiple posts across blogs. It sure sounds like a crappy way to spend the night. I might have forgotten to put in Jasmine’s link before by accident (fix’d anyway).

I’m not going to relate to my initial post in any way, I think I was nuts that night.

Today wasn’t very awesome. Morning badminton CCA was canceled – wait, our lazy bugger badminton seniors couldn’t be half-assed to say anything about it. No facebook message, no email, no SMS, blogs same as ever. Plus you know the leave school certificate all graduates were supposed to take around 3 months ago? I still haven’t taken it yet. I remember asking my friend last month about it and he was all “your screwed man”. Apparently there was another dude asking around about it and he warned something about the school trashing that cert if you don’t go take it yet.

There was this Starfest thing at Funan today too, it had the World Cosplay Summit semi-finalists making an appearance. Heard about it when I asked Eugene over food. I couldn’t get my ex-classmate otaku to come with me though.

This morning, I couldn’t climb out of bed. I missed the totally freaking nice morning weather and delicious delicious breakfast despite having more than enough sleep argh. Then I turned on the Macbook and it sucked the life out of me. When I finally got my ass out the house and reached my old school the whole office was closed. Closed? Really? The ENTIRE freaking office? I’ve never seen it closed outside of 9pm any day, holiday or not! Figures then I’d get some nostalgic chow but the canteen was closed too. Afterwards I made my slow slow progress to Funan where I realized I missed the semi-finalists by two hours.

Eugene was there in full pimp uniform (3 layers). He had his cosplay friends to entertain him, whereas I was bored out of my nuts after awhile and left. Man cosplays are so cool. Its like a fashion show with whackiness thrown in, except no matter how crappy your costume you won’t look bad – because of the male crossdressers. To be honest I’m a little homophobic, so it might be biased, but I’m certain no one really finds grown men in female cute wear a great idea. It’s great for variety, but not so good for reputation.

Welcome ‘ere!

DISCLAIMER: If content is inappropriate, please tell me! I’ll go replace it with a proper blog post.

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DISCLAIMER 2: No offense to anybody, anything, all coincidences are purely coincidental, etc.

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A short introduction. I’m Johnson Alenichev, I’m sexy six feet tall with bulging muscles, sexy hair and a sexy mustache. I am half Russian and half everything that is right with the world. Plus I have a really sexy body. Really sexy body. If sexy was a sport I’d be its Tiger Woods. If it was a race I’d be its Usain Bolt. If it was Justin Bieber, I’d be screwed.

But enough about me. Here’s more about me.

Yesterday was my first day in Ngee Ann Poly, and I was so excited! I remember soon after I entered the principal was shouting at me through the speakers that Somebody Call 911, Shawty Fire Burning On The Dance Floor, Woah. You see dance floor fires are a commonplace entertainment hazard where I come from, because the folks tend to get really violent when drunk. I started one myself before because my buddy laughed at my pink socks. I hit him so hard he exploded in a wall of flame and fell into a vat of beer… but it happens all the time to these guys.

Wanting to prove how efficient a person I was by first reporting this case to 911, I whipped out my new handphone. However I crushed it into little bits in my excitement and the battery hit a dude behind me. The impact knocked him unconscious. Luckily I knew the ancient medical practices my mother taught me, so I quickly bent down and slapped him vigorously in the face. The passerbys, amazed by my manly acts, began to back away from me.

He started to bleed from the nose and mouth after half an hour, which was a good sign according to my mother. As I stood back up a funny little man in blue uniform was waving a baton, yelling at me things I could not understand. At first I thought it was his way of showing his appreciation, until he made the universal ninja hand sign. He did it within a flurry of spasmodic hand actions, but I managed to catch it. I quickly realized he was an ninja seeking a challenge and shifted into a karate stance to reply in kind. This man was indeed an expert; he quickly hid his killing intent so well, I could have sworn he was frozen in shock.

As I stared intently at his form, I saw his watch and realized I was going to be late for my tutorial. Honorable Father told me that if I were to come late for any tutorials, he would fly to Singapore and castrate me with a hammer. I was faced with the dilemma of losing my manhood or backing down from a challenge. I quickly chose the latter.

Turns out the tutorial wasn’t very important after all. It was a lecture on the Macbook regarding things I already knew about. After it finished I asked around; it appears that the person I saved earlier was hospitalized and that the ninja was arrested for it. I clutched my heart in grief – it appears the ninja’s target was the poor guy, and I had foolishly left them alone for my tutorial! Thank goodness he was arrested at least. I’ll bring the poor guy some flowers. I hope he likes white chrysanthemums.

It technically hasn’t even felt like a day of school, and I’ve already made a friend, I think, and a ninja enemy, I’m sure. Wow I’m so excited for Ngee Ann